Bad Mums Club #1 : Fast Food Mommy
When I started weaning my 20 month old after breast feeding exclusively for 6 months, I had bought myself a few Annabel Karmel books and followed to the letter her steps for weaning and made everything from fresh that passed my baby’s lips. Once he hit about 10 months I was very unwell with hyperemesis and 3 months pregnant with his sister and he started to live on the Ella’s Kitchen pouches. I had researched and determined they were the best for him and the most comparable if I wasn’t going to be able to cook for him. He only stopped breast feeding when I was so bad in my pregnancy I couldn’t hold him to feed. He was so used to having my expressed milk that he started biting me as it was like he’d forgotten how to feed. I got to the point where I couldn’t express anymore as I was too unwell and wasn’t getting out anywhere near enough for him. I only premise this to give you an idea of how far I have fallen in my own sights.
In our household for the past 2 months now we have all been so unwell, myself included and I have just been completely lacking in energy. Obviously Eden is only 3 months old now and so memories of me being stuck in bed very unwell whilst pregnant and those depressed feelings have come back very quickly whilst being too unwell to do much.
This has resulted in me driving my hubby to work and then heading in the car straight to my mum’s house (on days she’s not working) so that I can have some help with the babies. As soon as I get in the car I realise I haven’t eaten or sometimes even fed Judah. Eden feeds from me so I then feel guilty for my quality of milk and encourage myself to eat…….*enter stage left* – Macdonald’s Drive Thru. It is literally 2 mins away from my house and on the way to my parents there is another one, so even when I’ve sometimes managed to avoid it, by the time I’ve been driving half an hour and the hunger pangs have set in, I end up buying at the other branch.
Sometimes when I’ve been in the car running errands the only thing that stops me going back at lunch time is the sheer horror that the staff will recognise me and my car from the breakfast run, then pure shame forces me to make other arrangements.
I have made drastic changes recently to this pattern of behaviour since a few weeks ago my little boy 20 months old started saying ‘pease pease’ whenever he saw those Golden Arches as he knew they meant food. So horrified was I, I have been now trying to avoid this pattern. He also recognises take away bags as dinner time. I don’t want him to grow up with issues with food, I’m all for a treat but the pattern formed recently in our house must stop.
However, this week with all the motorway driving and stress of bereavement I am a fully paid up member of the Bad Mums Club.