Depressed with Dieting : my baby weight loss journey #4

Today was a crazy hectic day but I felt that I did well considering.

I weighed myself in the morning and had only put on 300g’s (134.7kg’s) which wasn’t too bad after my fail yesterday.  I decided that despite the busyness that awaited me I would try my best not to do as bad.  

Just over a week ago we drove down to West Sussex from Lancashire and we had lots of naughty snacks for the car.  Chocolate (not much though, I’m not really a chocolate fan) cheese sticks (you know the buttery bread stick kind?), stopped for Macdonald’s and other treats.  I drank lots of coca cola too so I had many calories.

Trolley Fun

This morning I went to the supermarket whilst my hubster was at work to buy the snacks for the journey and was deliberate about not buying as much junk this time.  I bought some organix snacks and yoghurt covered raisins etc. for Judah, and some chicken bites (just little flavoured bits of chicken breast), snack a jacks, that sort of thing for myself and the hubby.  I hadn’t had breakfast but instead of going through the Macdonald’s Drive-Thru (very tempting) I had a pack of chicken bites (pretty much just protein). *first win*

I had only had about 2 hours sleep last night as we were up late packing, and Eden struggled to settle, so I then went through the Starbucks Drive-Thru for a triple shot skinny vanilla latte.  I needed caffeine if I was to do the long drive ahead of me, I also had a blueberry muffin *mini fail*

As I’m writing this I realise I didn’t eat the most healthy today *oops* but there were so many opportunities where I could’ve (and usually would have) been so much worse, so I am happy with my little wins along the way.

When I had picked up the hubster and we were setting off on our at least 6 hour journey, he wanted KFC for lunch.  This just seemed like a really bad idea to me, but, I had a mini fillet and a popcorn snack box.  Normally I would consume one of the big box meals, large, with gravy,  and usually towered, with a large Pepsi.  So, I thought this was another mini win for myself.  We only stopped once on the motorway because Judah needed a nappy change and I needed caffeine.  Another triple shot skinny vanilla latte was consumed.  I resisted stopping for dinner in the hopes that it would prevent me eating an unhealthy service station meal (last time was a Burger King).  We arrived at the in laws in record time and they had just bought fish and chips, so that’s what we had for dinner.  Again, not ideal but wasn’t my choice and I did leave half a battered fish instead of demolishing everything.  Another mini win by my standards.

I’m not going to weigh myself as we are away from home now for a few days, but I am hoping to see positive results by the time we return.

I will leave you with the lovely view I had whilst consuming my Starbucks earlier today….

Hmm…. Blueberry



Crazy Week (Sleep Training #2)


So this week has been interesting to say the least.  Thursday marked my 30th birthday and what Daddy didn’t tell me had taken me away for the evening.  This was a surprise, I had arranged to stay at my Mother’s (Mama Wood’s) Tuesday evening to watch my sister performing in Blackpool, so the JAM’s sleep routine was all messed up.

Tuesday he slept in a travel cot in Mama Wood’s bedroom until he awoke.  After that the JAM was on the sofa waiting for me to arrive back asleep on his Nana.  JAM slept in Auntie L’s bed with what Daddy didn’t tell me and I so not a normal night at all.  I don’t think it was helpful for him to be in a new setting with the smell of Mummy’s breastmilk pretty much in his face for the entire night.  Needless to say, there was not much sleeping going on and I wish the travel cot had been set up in Auntie L’s room, but hey ho, my lack of sleep was redeemed in the Lake District Wednesday evening.

Wednesday, I’m not sure how the JAM slept, other than I know he was in the travel cot in his Nana’s room for the night.  Mama Wood informed me that he seemed a little disappointed that I wasn’t around in the morning, but due to the last time what Daddy didn’t tell me and I spent away from him, he coped really well.  I however awoke at 4am and needed to hand express in the bath, with help from the steam as I was in agony.  Despite the pain, was still a better night sleep than usual with only one waking.

Thursday, we were back at home all together and my princesses Ice and Rae Rae arrived.  It was nice to all be together on my 30th.  What Daddy didn’t tell me’s parents came up to celebrate too and out we went to ‘Ming Dynasty’ our local chinese restaurant.  It was a late one and JAM slept in his buggy most of the meal.  Surprisingly, he went down in his cot really easily considering the days away from it and lack of routine.  Crying was minimal and he awoke 3 times, the last of which was at 6am ish, so that was ok.

I can’t really remember much else about the weekend now, it has been a hard week with my extended family and I still haven’t celebrated turning 30 with my nearest and dearest.  I am very grateful for my inlaws making it a special occassion, but cannot wait for various illnesses etc to correct themselves so that I can see my sisters and brothers for a family meal.

On the whole, this blog is to point out that despite lack of routine, it is surprising how quickly babies can adjust back to their home environment.  The JAM has slept well in his cot as usual.  I haven’t really had the brain capacity to process weaning him back into his room yet, due to many things.  Shouldn’t be too long though 😉

Here’s hoping…

Object Permanence – Who Knew? (Sleep Training #1)

sleeping jamSo there are multiple things I could talk about, JAM’s first carvery, the concerns and slight disturbance I felt as weirdly a child was screaming no to it’s mothers offer of ice-cream at the carvery??? The rising cost of ballet, tap, modern etc (will save that for another day – whine), but the most invaluable thing I learned this week was about object permanence.

So yes, I am one of those mothers who has been blessed with a baby that slept through really well. From the 2nd night with me on the ward (he spent his first 2 nights on neonatal), JAM could sleep through 6 hours straight and it only increased, until now. He began waking several times in the night and proving more and more difficult to put down after a nighttime feed. He wanted to be held constantly. When on Friday night I literally got half an hours sleep, the worst ever since he was born, I declared my frustration to the world of facebook and began scouring the internet for advice. I stumbled across this site ( . It explained to me how now JAM is older he is aware of object permanence. He knows that even though he cannot see us, we are around somewhere. He is now capable of missing us. Also, that because we have been jiggling him, pushing him around in his buggy, or in my case feeding him to sleep that would be his last memory, and then as he awoke in his room, in his cot, it would cause confusion. The author likens it to us falling asleep safe in our bed and waking on the lawn outside. JAM was becoming increasingly more obstinate about going to sleep. He knew that once he gave in we would disappear, and he didn’t like it one bit. I figured it was our fault that we had created this monster as we didn’t know what we were doing (due to lack of knowledge), so although, some may think I’m soft, I decided and my lovely husband agreed, that we should move JAM back into our room whilst we dealt with this habit.

Despite various advice I didn’t feel it would be fair to begin to let him cry it out (not really read much about CIO theories but it didn’t quite sit right with me) cold turkey as he needed to relearn, we had created this issue. So, whilst we were in the room, I fed him until he was drowsy and put him to bed awake. He knew we were around, was clean, fed, warm etc… so we waited. He whimpered for about 7 minutes and then fell asleep. Fantastic, I was happy. He first woke in the night as I (after no sleep the night before) could not sleep. My body clock was all messed up and I was driving myself insane with my own thoughts and determined to put the illustrious Desperate Housewives on the DVD player in our room (much to my husbands dismay). I find that it’s familiarity and the fact that I’ve seen them so many times, it would help me switch off my brain and fall asleep. Big mistake!! Not fair on the JAM at all, the noise of the TV didn’t seem to wake him, but my pottering around and banging things (by accident) woke him. I decided as it was my fault to feed him, he had cried for about 5 mins before I came to this conclusion (I was trying to let him self soothe). I fed him just enough to comfort him, he wasn’t hungry and then put him back to bed, again he was awake. This time there was more than a whimper for about 2 minutes, then he fell asleep. The second time he awoke, JAM was a lot more vocal about not being happy, but his cries only lasted 10 seconds, he calmed and shortly after the little snores resumed (he has a snuffly nose). He next woke around 6 in the morning, as his usual trick. I fed him, he seemed wide awake, eager to play, we put him back into the cot, expecting a fight and there was no sound. Wow!! I was very shocked with his first night. He went to sleep until around 8am when I found him happily awake as I returned from the shower.

My conclusion

Obviously we have only tried this for 1 night so far, but I am very impressed and am sure we can wean him back into his own room within the week (secretly I quite like having him back, I put a photo next to my bed when he moved, like he’d gone off to war or something). I believe the JAM likes having more control over his own sleep knowing he will awake exactly where he drifted off instead of never knowing where he may appear next. Will keep you posted as the week goes on.

What’s blogging got to do with it?

cropped-blog.jpgHello!!  Welcome to my first blogging experience.  I began to make a list this week of various subjects I could broach in my first blog.  I guess I will begin by talking about the week that we’ve had as a family.

Weekend Away

Last weekend I went to a ladies conference which meant that, aside from coming home each night, it was my first weekend away from the family in a long time.  Not to mention my first weekend away from JAM my first born son (aged 7 months).  4 days a week I am a Mother of 3 children, Ice (6), Little Miss Rae Rae (3), who both belong to my husband and his ex-wife and The Jam (JAM being his initials).  It wasn’t easy leaving my lovely husband, who can be a bit clumsy at times (he’s dyspraxic) with all of them, but then I remembered that before me, he would have Ice and Little Miss Rae Rae alternate weekends and coped just fine (well, they’re still alive).  He did a fantastic job, and to be honest put me to shame as he not only maintained 3 children for the weekend, he cleaned and tidied all the house, sorted the washing and all the various things I complain I didn’t really have time to do, due to having to look after 3 children.  I’ve definitely upped my game this week ;).

It was amazing having some time away, I heard some phantom cries a few times and would have to convince myself that I couldn’t possibly be hearing the JAM as he wasn’t anywhere near.  It was definitely surreal not having another person attached to you constantly after 7 months of him co-dependently being by my side.  Any breastfeeding mother will understand it was not easy physically being away from him also, I was very sore each evening as I returned.  On the Saturday evening I retrieved him from his room and latched him on whilst he was still asleep.  He relieved my pressure and then popped him back into bed, little poppet.  I can highly recommend some girlie time away for new mothers, as I came home feeling so refreshed and I knew JAM would have a better Mummy for it.  Also wish to massively recommend Nancy Goudie’s Spiritual Health Weekends ( as I have been going for the last 4 years and have always come away feeling refreshed, full of joy and empowered to get on with the year that’s ahead (they’re always at the start of each year).