Depressed with Dieting : my baby weight loss journey #10

I am having to blog these retrospectively as I have been up to my eyes in moving house.

It is now 3:30 in the morning and I have no internet yet here, can’t connect to my phone as it has decided to die, but I figured I’ll blog now, post it to the web later when I can find a connection.

I’m sat in the bath blogging because I can’t sleep.  Moving house not long after moving churches has been hard.  My husband doesn’t drive and he couldn’t get any time off work, so although he is amazing when he’s here, he just hasn’t been able to be around.  The church is my social connection.  Obviously, when you have children your social structure changes.  No longer am I able to ‘party’ with the people who basically were my drinking buddies and you just lose contact.  Some of my drinking buddies were Mum’s but they were single Mum’s who, although I know it wasn’t their ideal, they had learnt the joys of shared custody, meaning there were nights they had free to not feel like a Mum and go out.  This is when single girl I, would see them.

Anyway, I ate :

Breakfast

Monday…..Monday…..racking my brain….,vi shake, I think?

Lunch

Left over lasagne that my mum had made.

Dinner

Left over Chinese from Sunday evening, duck and pancakes basically.

I had like zero energy to help my hubby with packing, got myself all in a tizz.  Ended up sending him to the shop for the dreaded coca cola so I could have a sugar rush and help with packing.  I also had quite a bit of pro plus that day and a Costa coffee.

I’m just going to post the whole week now then I can begin afresh next post.

Tuesday

Breakfast – McDonald’s Big Breakfast meal, came straight back up with the stress of packing me thinks

Lunch – chicken burger (plain), chips and curry sauce from the chippy.  My mum didn’t want me to have the stress of making lunch just before we moved.

Dinner – some chicken breast (packet from sainsbury’s) on a bread roll as I couldn’t find any cutlery or anything for that matter as the movers were still delivering boxes.

Wednesday

Breakfast – bagel with Philadelphia from McD’s 

Lunch – Pizza Hut buffet (I treated my mum as we’d been on our knees scrubbing the old house all morning) it’s my mum’s fave.

Dinner – Chinese takeaway at our new house. Couldn’t find my wok to start cooking the meal I’d bought ingredients for.

Thursday

Breakfast – bagel with Philadelphia from McD’s 

Lunch – mushroom and ricotta pasta with creme fraiche and cheese sauce

Dinner – Chinese again (not good)

Friday

Breakfast – bagel with Philadelphia (I made at home)

Ridiculously stressful morning with estate agents and being ripped off by people, had a chocolate tea cake at Costa coffee

Lunch – felt like I was doing ok despite the adversity til now, I went on a Macdonald’s binge, I had a chicken legend meal (plain) large, and 20 nuggets.  I felt sick but just kept eating, really, really bad.  Totally my response to extreme stress.  Had just found out all the scrubbing on my hands and knees with my mum for the last few days was pointless and that we were going to lose a few hundred pounds on our deposit anyway.  Long story, but this is where it all went wrong.

Dinner – Chinese (AGAIN) it was mine and the hubby’s anniversary and it had been a terrible day.  I didn’t dare try a different restaurant after the day we’d had so just stuck with this takeaway, as it’s the only one we know at the new address that we like.

Saturday

Breakfast – bagel with Philadelphia

Lunch – pasta (tagliatelle) with stir in carbonara sauce from sainsbury’s

Dinner – lasagne portion from my mum’s house (she gave me in a container so I didn’t have to cook, house still in massive uproar)

Sunday

Breakfast – felt very very sick.  Had a couple of bags of crisps, supposed to be healthy rye ones.  I had thrown up so just wanted something dry.

Lunch – pasta with stir in tomato and mascarpone sauce from sainsbury’s 

Dinner – oh yes, you’ve guessed it, Chinese again, but then I was sick, so no more Chinese for me.  Being I’ll has put me off it.

As you can see a terrible week as far as dieting/healthy eating is concerned.  It was a terrible week in general though.  At least, we are in our new home now that we love, even if it is in uproar.

I haven’t dared face the scales yet *petrified* – maybe tomorrow, sorry guys.

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Depressed with Dieting : my baby weight loss journey #9

I am getting really good at the whole not snacking thing now.  I am getting even better at trying to be good and being more healthy choice conscious.  You may not think so when you see my food diary’s but I know my usual patterns and how stressful my life is right now, with the recent funeral and moving house.  It would usually be so much worse.

Sundays

We attend church, usually two services, morning and evening.  More recently we’ve just been managing to get to one with everything that has been going on and just pure exhaustion.  I miss it though, I LOVE church, it is one of my most favourite places to be.  I serve on the music team singing vocals.  This means when I’m rostered on an early start.  I have to set off at 8:30 to be there for 8:45 ready to sound check at 9am.  Not too bad, but when it’s the one day of the week society tells you ‘you can have a lie in’ and you’re up at 6 trying to get everything done and all four children showered and dressed nicely, as well as fed before you leave, it can seem a rush.  Most weeks we feed the children and the hubby and I forget to eat Sunday morning.  This week I had a Vi shake, they are a meal replacement shake that contain all the nutrients that you need.  So…

Breakfast – Vi Shake

Lunch – mince, carrots, potatoes, onions, courgettes and mushroom stew that had been placed in the slow cooker by my helpful mother whilst we were packing up to move the day before.  I had two small bowls full and 4 *i know* pieces of buttered bread with it.

I had determined that this was perfectly acceptable as I’d rather be full with bread and stew than snack on other rubbish, and I was fully intending to consume another vi shake for my evening meal.  However…

Dinner – Chinese takeout *oops* our friends came round who have recently had a new baby boy ‘Rowan’ how cute.  We offered them some of our abundant stew but they have been receiving meals from friends in their church and told us they were sick of stew and would prefer take out.  So we ordered a take out.  It was one of those times where I genuinely joined in to be sociable but even as I’m typing this now I know they were close enough friends that they wouldn’t have been offended if I hadn’t eaten with them.  I could’ve had another bowl of stew or even my intended vi shake and they wouldn’t have thought twice about it.  However, I had half a portion of boiled rice with the Mr, those chips that I really, really need to stop ordering, and a chicken curry.  I ate a handful of prawn crackers and one of the free portion of salt and pepper chicken wings.

I have decided this week I’m not going to weigh myself until the end of the week.  Let’s see how this affects my mindset and how I get on….

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