Depressed with Dieting : my baby weight loss journey #10

I am having to blog these retrospectively as I have been up to my eyes in moving house.

It is now 3:30 in the morning and I have no internet yet here, can’t connect to my phone as it has decided to die, but I figured I’ll blog now, post it to the web later when I can find a connection.

I’m sat in the bath blogging because I can’t sleep.  Moving house not long after moving churches has been hard.  My husband doesn’t drive and he couldn’t get any time off work, so although he is amazing when he’s here, he just hasn’t been able to be around.  The church is my social connection.  Obviously, when you have children your social structure changes.  No longer am I able to ‘party’ with the people who basically were my drinking buddies and you just lose contact.  Some of my drinking buddies were Mum’s but they were single Mum’s who, although I know it wasn’t their ideal, they had learnt the joys of shared custody, meaning there were nights they had free to not feel like a Mum and go out.  This is when single girl I, would see them.

Anyway, I ate :

Breakfast

Monday…..Monday…..racking my brain….,vi shake, I think?

Lunch

Left over lasagne that my mum had made.

Dinner

Left over Chinese from Sunday evening, duck and pancakes basically.

I had like zero energy to help my hubby with packing, got myself all in a tizz.  Ended up sending him to the shop for the dreaded coca cola so I could have a sugar rush and help with packing.  I also had quite a bit of pro plus that day and a Costa coffee.

I’m just going to post the whole week now then I can begin afresh next post.

Tuesday

Breakfast – McDonald’s Big Breakfast meal, came straight back up with the stress of packing me thinks

Lunch – chicken burger (plain), chips and curry sauce from the chippy.  My mum didn’t want me to have the stress of making lunch just before we moved.

Dinner – some chicken breast (packet from sainsbury’s) on a bread roll as I couldn’t find any cutlery or anything for that matter as the movers were still delivering boxes.

Wednesday

Breakfast – bagel with Philadelphia from McD’s 

Lunch – Pizza Hut buffet (I treated my mum as we’d been on our knees scrubbing the old house all morning) it’s my mum’s fave.

Dinner – Chinese takeaway at our new house. Couldn’t find my wok to start cooking the meal I’d bought ingredients for.

Thursday

Breakfast – bagel with Philadelphia from McD’s 

Lunch – mushroom and ricotta pasta with creme fraiche and cheese sauce

Dinner – Chinese again (not good)

Friday

Breakfast – bagel with Philadelphia (I made at home)

Ridiculously stressful morning with estate agents and being ripped off by people, had a chocolate tea cake at Costa coffee

Lunch – felt like I was doing ok despite the adversity til now, I went on a Macdonald’s binge, I had a chicken legend meal (plain) large, and 20 nuggets.  I felt sick but just kept eating, really, really bad.  Totally my response to extreme stress.  Had just found out all the scrubbing on my hands and knees with my mum for the last few days was pointless and that we were going to lose a few hundred pounds on our deposit anyway.  Long story, but this is where it all went wrong.

Dinner – Chinese (AGAIN) it was mine and the hubby’s anniversary and it had been a terrible day.  I didn’t dare try a different restaurant after the day we’d had so just stuck with this takeaway, as it’s the only one we know at the new address that we like.

Saturday

Breakfast – bagel with Philadelphia

Lunch – pasta (tagliatelle) with stir in carbonara sauce from sainsbury’s

Dinner – lasagne portion from my mum’s house (she gave me in a container so I didn’t have to cook, house still in massive uproar)

Sunday

Breakfast – felt very very sick.  Had a couple of bags of crisps, supposed to be healthy rye ones.  I had thrown up so just wanted something dry.

Lunch – pasta with stir in tomato and mascarpone sauce from sainsbury’s 

Dinner – oh yes, you’ve guessed it, Chinese again, but then I was sick, so no more Chinese for me.  Being I’ll has put me off it.

As you can see a terrible week as far as dieting/healthy eating is concerned.  It was a terrible week in general though.  At least, we are in our new home now that we love, even if it is in uproar.

I haven’t dared face the scales yet *petrified* – maybe tomorrow, sorry guys.

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Depressed with Dieting : my baby weight loss journey #8

I’ve lost a stone!! Wahoo!!  What a great way to mark the end of week one.

If you have been following this week you will see that I haven’t actually been that good with my eating.  I’ve had Macdonald’s, KFC, an Indian, a kebab.  I’ve been snacking a lot less, in fact nearly not at all, cut out coca cola, and as I’ve been feeling a bit more well in myself, I haven’t been stuck in bed all the time.

Today I ate :

Breakfast – 4 pieces of toast

Lunch – a cheese, ham and turkey sandwich.

Dinner – yummy lasagne my Mum made for whilst we were packing (I had two helpings).

Snack – a handful of the mini sour cream and chive snack a jacks again.  I shared the pack with Judah.

I drank – cranberry juice, water

I now weigh 130.1kg’s.

1 stone down, about 10 to go (no joke, I can’t even tell that I’ve lost weight yet.

Sleepy now from packing all day.  Off to bed before I start wanting to order takeaway because I’m shattered and in need of energy.  Old habits die hard.

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Depressed with Dieting : my baby weight loss journey #5

Today I awoke at my in-laws with a funeral ahead of me.  It was bizarre, we all wanted to give our best and it was like we were getting ready to go to a wedding.  The hubby dashed out at 9am to the nearest barbers to get his hair cut.  We all wanted to look our best for Richard.  I said I wouldn’t weigh myself whilst we were away, but my in-laws have some good digital scales, so after my shower I wondered if the day before (fish and chips) had done much damage.  

133.4kg’s, 1.3kg loss again.  I felt spurred on to keep being as good as I could.  4 crumpets with butter were consumed for breakfast (I was VERY hungry), lunch was 2 tiny finger sandwiches of ham and lettuce at the wake, with 2 mini scones covered in strawberries and cream.  I resisted the Haribo favours I had made two days previous and the multiple biscuits on offer.

After the crematorium we returned to my husband’s auntie and uncle’s (the parents of our lost loved one) and what hadn’t been consumed at the funeral parlour were being passed out again (biscuits/scones).  I managed to resist but when we got in the car to return to the in-laws I told my husband I needed to eat something before I carried out the binge that my body (and nerves) were so desperately craving.  I was hungry but had been resisting filling that void with rubbish.

I had some toast when we arrived back in and then for dinner, my mother in law had put a delicious steak casserole in the slow cooker.  It was so good, I filled right up.  I consciously stuffed myself with the meat, veg and potatoes so I didn’t want to consume any of our snacks stashed in our room for the journey home.

There wasn’t a bar available all day so I hadn’t consumed any alcohol. I had two teas, and two coffees at the wake (all with two sugars *oops*) lots  of water and some cranberry juice to drink.

It could’ve been so much worse!!

I was pleased with my day considering the state my nerves were in and how I would usually comfort eat in this situation.  I am finding keeping this food diary via my blog feature is helping me with my self-control, I hope it continues.

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Depressed with Dieting : my baby weight loss journey #2

Ok, so today has been a difficult day.  The hubby and I are both lacking in energy and it is so easy to want fast-food or take-away when you are genuinely exhausted and can’t be bothered to cook.  Although, I have come to the conclusion that the reason we NEVER have any energy is, yes, because we have 4 children under 7, but also, because we don’t eat properly.  Every morning we get up and are “too busy” to have breakfast we are setting ourselves up to fail.

Sunday’s are hectic for us because as a family we go to church.  Not just that though, we serve at church – I am on the worship team and my husband serves on the kids team.  This means that we need to be there an hour and a half before the service starts.  Yes, you may think we’re crazy for doing that with 4 children, but we really enjoy it.  We love doing it, the only problem is the logistics of an early start.

This morning I showered Eden (3 months), then Judah (20 months), then Shayla-Rae (4) in the shower with me and then whilst I was breast-feeding Eden and drying Shayla’s hair, Isis (7) had her shower.   So, as I headed out of the house I realised that although the children had been fed, I had forgotten to eat any breakfast AGAIN. *fail*

I weighed myself this morning, I don’t want to get unhealthy with it (mentally I mean) but just out of curiosity (I’ll need to keep an eye on this if I become obsessive) and I now weigh 135.1kg’s.  1.7kg’s less than yesterday?  I fluctuate so much when I’m bigger as you’ll see.  

Today I have eaten : no breakfast *fail*, leftovers from our slimming world effort yesterday for lunch, and some leftovers from another days slimming world effort (a very small plate) straight after lunch as I was still hungry…. oh and one piece of bread with butter on whilst I was waiting for the second leftovers to heat up in the microwave (see what I mean about missing out on breakfast being a bad start to the day).

For my evening meal I have had a Vishake, I desperately wanted to order some takeaway as I feel rubbish and James had taken Judah down for food and made himself something too.  Just noodles which he deemed unhealthy and said I wouldn’t want, but I had to take to blogging to avoid getting take-away menu’s out.

I have drank today : a swig of the coca cola again before I ordered the hubster to remove the demon drink from my sights and he poured it down the sink for me.  This may seem drastic but sugar is so addictive and I can drink a 2 litre bottle of full fat coke a day if I get into the habit of it, and that is thousands of calories right there.  I then had some cranberry and raspberry juice (which is also pure sugar but I’m trying to get some vitamins into my system due to the constant illness, one battle at a time eh?) and I’ve also drank some water.

I am now going to go downstairs and continue with packing up the living room (we move in 10 days) so as to avoid the temptation to order anything.  I must stress I am not hungry right now, I just feel low on energy, and I want to avoid packing.  Ordering take out in this instance would be my go to move.  I will pack until I’m so tired I fall asleep.

Thanks for listening to my rumblings, they have aided my avoidance of ordering food.

Lots of love

Alexandra

xxx

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Some things that I love #7

Some things that I love #7

This weeks round up of things I love with @butwhymummywhy:

Some thing I read

My Elle subscription arrived, so I have the November issue. Inside was an article about ’40 days of dating’. A blog started by two graphic designers who live in NYC. They found themselves single at the same time after years of being friends and decided to try and work out their relationship issues by dating each other, every day for 40 days, and seeing a relationship counsellor once a week. It’s a gorgeous blog with them both being graphic designers and a very interesting read. I won’t spoil it incase you want to read fortydaysofdating

Some thing I watched

So, continuing on with being pretty much bed bound this pregnancy and our dvd collection being completely exhausted (we don’t have a tv license, don’t watch it apart from dvd’s we own). My friend Pete lent us some dvd’s. I watched the first 4 seasons of ‘the Big Bang Theory’ in a couple of weeks. Took me a season to get into. Sheldon’s character irritated me. The hubby was laughing his head off constantly whilst I was busy knitting Eden’s blanket. By Season 2 though I was hooked. Now find Sheldon adorable and so interesting to watch. I have a friend who reminds me of his social ineptness without being a brainiac and I genuinely feel I understand him better now I’ve watched TBBT. Now need to get up to date with the other seasons.

Some thing I wore

My Mum bought me a new black maxi dress that is so comfy. I wore it for 3 days last week (as I’m mainly in pj’s in bed this isn’t as bad as it sounds *honest). It accentuates my 35 week pregnant bump but I am so comfortable in it. Cannot wait for it to come back out of the wash *coughs to remind hubby to do some washing.

Some thing I listened to

Birdy’s new album ‘fire within’ is on Spotify and it is beautiful. Another knitting favourite of mine. I will put it on and relax knitting in bed. She has such a lovely voice and as a fellow pianist I just enjoy the mellowness and sheer beauty of the album. Haven’t got a favourite track yet *stay tuned.

Some thing I cannot live without

Terrible I know but I guess because I’m pregnant. Mash potato. I know. Just keep craving it and want roast dinner type meals. Am also happy to just have mash with gravy too. I believe it isn’t too bad a craving so am just going with it.

Thanks once again to butwhymummywhy for another fun linky of Some things that I love