Depressed with Dieting : my baby weight loss journey #7

I didn’t weigh myself yesterday, not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.  I wanted to see how detrimental my night at the Indian had been, but I was just so busy packing and driving home etc. it didn’t get done.  Probably just would’ve depressed me anyways.  

Here’s what I ate :


Two pieces of toast with extremely salted butter (the inlaws)


Cheese and ham sandwiches as made by the mother in law for our car journey


After all that driving, I ventured out in the evening to collect our parcels from various depots with my ID etc.  I just took the documents I needed though, and only when I arrived to collect something healthy to much like a roast chicken and some salad from Morrisons did I realise I didn’t have my bank card with me *fail*.  I just went home and informed the hubby, I would not be venturing out again as I was exhausted.  So, it was the hubby’s choice and we ordered a kebab.  I had a plain chicken kebab.  The only thing naughty was the garlic sauce I had on it, and the bread overload I ended up consuming by default.  I deliberately didn’t order any naan or chips this time *wink*, see I’m learning.


I pretty much resisted, my husband was consuming a pack of sour cream and chive snack a jacks (you know, the crisp effort ones) and I had four of those.  Not bad going for a day full of driving.  We resisted any food or snacks when we stopped at services.  Just had strong coffee!!


A bit cheeky, I had 2 vanilla macchiato’s with an extra shot of espresso in each one when we stopped at services.  I also consumed water, and some ocean spray cranberry juice.  Still off the coca cola!!!

Hoping when I weigh myself for the next post it’s a positive result, but the objective is just to keep going!!



Depressed with Dieting : my baby weight loss journey #6

After being so good on Wednesday with what I ate, I hadn’t lost any weight that day, although I hadn’t put any on either, so I can’t complain.  Not good to weigh yourself daily really, I just wanted to assess what’s going on as I try and establish a routine, especially as I’m keeping this food diary at the moment.  It’s really easy to see where I went wrong and to avoid that again.  I did realise though that I’d lost half a stone in the first 5 days, pretty good going.  Scary how big I am though, that I can lose half a stone and not really even be able to tell in my clothes *oops*.  Oh well, just need to keep going.

My husband and I were so exhausted after the emotional day before so it would’ve been very easy to spend the day in bed, but, we decided that it is so rare for us to be able to get any time together without pressure to do other things that we would seize the opportunity whilst we were here at the inlaws.  

It was really sunny in the morning, so we took the Bugaboo Donkey and off we went to the seaside (about 100yards from my inlaws front door).  

I had already consumed some buttered toast, but I was sniffing out for a strong coffee.  The hubby fancied a cafe breakfast so we ventured to find somewhere.  It was difficult to find a quaint little cafe that we could navigate with the Donkey.  We also needed to find somewhere I could comfortably and discreetly feed Eden.  In the end we found somewhere that wasn’t ideal but just about managed to hit the criteria.  

James had a large breakfast, and I ordered Judah and I an omelette with ham, cheese, bacon and onion.  It was served with salad and chunky oven chips, which was bizarre at 11am, but luckily Judah consumed most of the chips to spare me the extra calories.

After this big meal we didn’t need a lunch, the babies fell asleep as we set off to the Pier to find some fun rides for Judah.  So, instead we had his and hers ice-creams.  

James chose bubblegum sauce so that his was blue (for a boy) bless him, he’s not normally so geeky but I think the excitement of us getting a day together was going to his head.

We sat on the pier and had a lovely snuggle up on a bench as the babies slept.  Then the fog started coming in (have you seen on the news?) so we wandered inland for another coffee.  I had a frappe latte in Nero, needed to feed Eden again, with an extra shot of espresso to keep myself awake.

In the evening we were taking James’ mum out to celebrate her birthday that had been the week before, it had unfortunately been clouded by everybody’s grief, including her own.  So we wanted to take her out after the funeral, just to give her something nice to do.  She chose a little Italian, I had determined that it wouldn’t be too bad and I would endeavour to find something healthy to eat.  The Italian was closed though *boo*.  So we ended up at a lovely little Indian called ‘le Spice’ the food and staff were amazing if you’re ever in Worthing, West-Sussex.  They were very helpful with the double buggy, friendly with Judah, even when he poured James’ cobra beer all over the table *dismayed*.  Eden slept all the way through but I’m sure if I’d needed to nurse her there wouldn’t have been any awkwardness.

This however, was not ideal for my trying to eat healthier.  Although, I made some good choices and some bad… I resisted a starter (hmm… bhaji’s, pakora) only drank water, chose and then consumed a less saucy dish, I had garlic chicken (never had at an Indian before, but I wasn’t really in the mood for a curry, I usually love it, but just didn’t fancy it). I had my main with special rice (egg and peas) and some chips (again *hangs head*) as Judah loved dipping them in the various curries available on the table.  I also had garlic naan, delicious.  So, not very successful on the healthy eating front.  I could try and justify it as it was a special occasion, but I could’ve quite easily avoided the naan and chips and had as delicious a meal, with less calories.

Scared to weigh myself today, I was happy with my half a stone weight loss so far, but I guess it’s a journey and I need to remember to make better choices.

We have booked our holiday now though *excited face* so I have an extra incentive to be good.  So exciting!  Wish me luck.


Love the Little Things #2


This week I have mostly been reading blogs.  I have really been getting into checking out other blogs on my iPad WordPress reader and others that I don’t seem to be able to follow on there. *chuckle* I’m usually quiet clever honestly, but this blogging lark, HTML, and things that should be simple tech knowledge just evades me for some reason.  I’ll get there.  This week I discovered lots of beautiful photographic blogs whilst joining in with the Siblings feature.  We have ordered a new Nikon D3200 Digital SLR camera and I’m hoping to make my blog much more beautiful too.  If I could just work out how to set out my layout…..


The Big Bang Theory!  I love it!  When I first started watching Season 1 whilst they were filming Season 7…. I know, I’m always late to the party…. I wasn’t sure what I thought of it.  Sheldon’s character really irritated me *i know*.  I now adore him and everything about the show.  The ways the characters interact with each other, the introduction of women into their lives (Bernadette and Amy) is so much fun to watch.  I will be really sad when it ends…. which I hope won’t be for another few seasons.  My fave episode recently was the Valentines Day episode with Sheldon and Amy’s interaction.  I watch as they come out in the States online, so I won’t reveal anything in case it hasn’t been aired over here yet.  You’re in for a treat though.


The uggs that I have lived in whilst pregnant with Eden have been put away and I have broken out my grey Bench boots that I love.  Unfortunately, they were the only shoes I brought down with me to the inlaws and I had a MASSIVE wardrobe malfunction in wearing them for the funeral this week.  Check out my What I Wore Wednesday post to see what I’m talking about.


Mainly the song that I was singing at the funeral on Wednesday.  There You’ll Be – Faith Hill.  My poor husband, I rehearsed several times in the car on the journey down.  I wanted to be desensitised to the emotions as it would be difficult to sing stood next to the coffin, infront of the grieving family.  I did it though, I’m proud to say, I nearly broke down at the end of the first chorus, but managed to pull myself together and finish the song.  I am currently trying to find a song to sing at an event the Saturday night before Mothering Sunday.  The event is to honour, encourage and inspire Mothers.  ‘A grand event at The Grand Hotel’ a 3 course meal with entertainment, of which I am part.  Any song suggestions that you have felt encourage you as a Mum, please enter them in the comment section.  I really don’t want to be too cheesy.  I want to be tasteful but moving… the best I have come up with so far is the one Christina Aguilera dedicated to her Mum a long, long time ago…. *cheesy*, what do you think?

 Watch the video here


So rare is it at the moment that I get the time to make anything.  I used to be very crafty, and love making things from scratch.  I struggle to find the chance now, however, this week I did make funeral favours.  Bizarre, I know, but Richard loved sweets.  His mum said that he adored Haribo, so I made little favours for people to take away from the wake.  It was just mixing up various packets of Haribo bought from the pound shop, putting them into cellophane cones, tying them with some pretty ribbon, and putting a pretty label on.  I wrote on the labels ‘in loving memory’ on one side, and his name in calligraphy on the other.  Nothing spectacular, but it was difficult making 40 of them and watching the two babies whilst the hubby was at work.  His sister emailed me afterwards to thank me for such a lovely touch.  It made it really special to know that such a little thing really blessed the family. 


and lastly…

Driving up and down the country the last couple of weeks has shown me that my babies are pretty awesome travellers, bearing that in mind, although you may still think I’m crazy, we have booked a family holiday for when my husband finishes placement.  Just my husband, the babies and I.  It will be our last chance really to do something like this as Judah will (just) be classed as an infant still on the flight which makes it more manageable financially, and we won’t have to go in the summer holidays (which we would need to if we took the girls).  We figured, it’s kind of like us still going on holiday and the babies just getting dragged around (excuse my expression) rather than in the next couple of years us being dragged around by the children (which totally happened when we took the girls to Butlins when Judah was 3 weeks old).  We are going to Atlantis the Palm, Dubai and Phuket, Thailand.  I cannot wait!!!  Judah is going to love ‘the lost chambers’ our trip to the SeaLife Centre last week inspired the edition of 2 days in Dubai.  Can’t wait to blog about it, just 90 days to go!!! (Not counting or anything)


Check out all the other posts linked up over on by clicking on the badge below



Depressed with Dieting : my baby weight loss journey #5

Today I awoke at my in-laws with a funeral ahead of me.  It was bizarre, we all wanted to give our best and it was like we were getting ready to go to a wedding.  The hubby dashed out at 9am to the nearest barbers to get his hair cut.  We all wanted to look our best for Richard.  I said I wouldn’t weigh myself whilst we were away, but my in-laws have some good digital scales, so after my shower I wondered if the day before (fish and chips) had done much damage.  

133.4kg’s, 1.3kg loss again.  I felt spurred on to keep being as good as I could.  4 crumpets with butter were consumed for breakfast (I was VERY hungry), lunch was 2 tiny finger sandwiches of ham and lettuce at the wake, with 2 mini scones covered in strawberries and cream.  I resisted the Haribo favours I had made two days previous and the multiple biscuits on offer.

After the crematorium we returned to my husband’s auntie and uncle’s (the parents of our lost loved one) and what hadn’t been consumed at the funeral parlour were being passed out again (biscuits/scones).  I managed to resist but when we got in the car to return to the in-laws I told my husband I needed to eat something before I carried out the binge that my body (and nerves) were so desperately craving.  I was hungry but had been resisting filling that void with rubbish.

I had some toast when we arrived back in and then for dinner, my mother in law had put a delicious steak casserole in the slow cooker.  It was so good, I filled right up.  I consciously stuffed myself with the meat, veg and potatoes so I didn’t want to consume any of our snacks stashed in our room for the journey home.

There wasn’t a bar available all day so I hadn’t consumed any alcohol. I had two teas, and two coffees at the wake (all with two sugars *oops*) lots  of water and some cranberry juice to drink.

It could’ve been so much worse!!

I was pleased with my day considering the state my nerves were in and how I would usually comfort eat in this situation.  I am finding keeping this food diary via my blog feature is helping me with my self-control, I hope it continues.


The Gallery : yellow

This picture was taken whilst I sat outside the Crematorium with two sleeping babies in the car.  The colour of the day today was yellow. Yellow represents the memories that were shared today.  Bright, loving and fun-filled.
My husbands family buried a loved one today, my husband’s cousin, and after dying at only thirty-one the funeral was more of a tribute, a celebration of his life.

The flowers on the coffin were full of bright yellow roses.  It reminded me of my wedding flowers.  My bouquet was yellow roses.  There was nothing dreary about the day.  The service ended with Pharrel’s ‘happy’ track from Despicable Me2.

Judah loves Despicable Me and had taken his Minion Dave with him to play with at the wake as there were no other littlies in attendance.

Yellow surrounded my day, and will be forever ingrained in my memories.


What I Wore Wednesday (family edition) #1

We want to join in this each week, but it’s been a while :

Me :

Due to current size (see my running feature Depressed with Dieting) my dress is from Lovedrobe.  I really like that jacquard print and as I was singing at a funeral I didn’t want to be too bright.  It looks much better when I have a normal bra on and then I appear to have a waist, but I wanted to be able to feed Eden easily (didn’t want extra stress) so my wire free nursing bra it was.  I had 80 denier opaques on from, my Bench boots, a Storm watch my hubby purchased me last year and my minimalist Pandora bracelet.  Also, I of course had my new Prada sunglasses on whenever we were outside as the weather was glorious.

Judah :

This little man is now an absolute nightmare to photograph, he just never stops moving.  I can’t wait for my new camera to arrive and the shutter speed will be much faster than that of my iPhone 5.  I may stand more of a chance.  He is wearing a little white shirt with tie and waistcoat from the Next ‘signature’ range, with some matching trousers (also from that range).  We teamed this up with his little grey and neon green Nike air trainers so that he would be comfy, but also, I think they go well together for a 20 month old.  He received many remarks about how smart he looked throughout the day.

Eden :

Eden was wearing the most delightful little dress from Mamas and Papas, she looked like a little angel, ecru cable tights from Next, a cropped bunny cardigan also from Next and a cute little butterfly headband from Monsoon.  She’s so precious.

They were the only littlies at the funeral as we couldn’t really leave them anywhere else with my feeding Eden and the only family we have down South all being in attendance.  They were very well behaved and did me and the hubster proud.

 Don’t forget to check out the other posts linked up to….

Siblings (March) ~ Isis and Shayla


I love my step-daughters!!!  I am fortunate that when I met my husband they were still so little, and that I had 15 months with them before Judah came along where I learnt about being ‘mum’ and to love them as though they were my own.  Due to the nature of my husband and his ex-wife’s break up (she left him for their female lodger whilst pregnant with Shay) Shayla-Rae had never known them as Mum and Dad together.  When I met my hubby Shayla was 18 months old, and Isis turned five 3 days after we met.

We have been through various issues with contact over the last 3 years but mostly it has been amicable and we get to have the girls a lot, 4 days a week until recently where I needed to just get my head around the 2 babies on my own, instead of the days on my own with three.  (I once tried to venture out with the two babies and Shayla whilst Isis was at school and Daddy was at work, was all great until we were sat down to eat and Shayla needed the toilet, packing up all our things and shuttling 3 of them into the loos was not fun).  We have hated reducing contact but the girls understand it is only for a season and that once James finishes his final Uni placement we will reinstate our days. 

Anyway, back to the girls.  I watch them often together, I am one of five, with two sisters who were always my best friends (until recently as they don’t identify with my life at all, theirs are just about partying hard, but when they have children I’m sure our bond will strengthen again) and so I imagine what they will be like together through the years.  

At the moment, as they are shuttled back and forth between two loving homes, they are each other’s only constant.  Whichever home they are at, whoever they are referring to as ‘mummy’ for that time, they always have their sister by their side.  Sure they wind each other up now and then but they adore each other.  Shayla has always idolised Isis and it is great to see her in the big sister role too now to Judah and Eden.  I get to watch all these lovely and diverse dynamics happening in front of me all the time.

Above is the girls in their new pyjamas Isis had chosen as we bought food supplies at the supermarket for their day at dance.  We then went to start packing up their bedroom, they are so excited to move (captured in the image) to our new home which is three-storey and they will have the top floor with an en-suite to themselves.  Choosing decor is something they are actively  involved in at the moment *bless*.

I could write for hours on the topic of siblings, as I have so many scenarios to choose from between the four of them but I will save those for another month.  I will just leave you with another pic of my dynamic duo from the last time we baked…

Little Chefs

I have enjoyed joining in with this link up to celebrate my children’s relationships with each other.  Please click below to see other ‘Siblings’ posts

dear beautiful