The Ordinary Moments #3

The Ordinary Moments #3

It has been another crazy week at our house. The hubby is awaiting diagnosis for stabbing chest pains that also shoot up and down his left arm (not good), but I have had our latest family edition on standby, ‘Goldie’ the Toyota yaris.

It has made such a MASSIVE difference having a car, being able to be useful and contribute again to family life. I have taken the children all over this week.

It was whilst at the park with them after a busy day on Saturday night that it dawned on me. This ‘ordinary moment’ of taking our children to the park, I have only been dreaming of for the last few months as I literally couldn’t walk to the end of our street.

We made it though, I took Shayla and Judah on Friday before picking up Isis from school, but Judah was asleep. Obviously over the years I’ve been able to take Isis and Shayla many times, but Saturday evening, I took my 15 month old for the first time since he could walk. James had taken him without me, but this was so lovely for me to see him just loving the outdoors.

This ‘ordinary moment’ I never want to take for granted. I have a had a little taste of how hard motherhood must be for someone who is physically impaired and although people adjust, I haven’t enjoyed it. So grateful for the little things, and don’t ever want to always appreciate these ordinary moments.

I got so many lovely pictures of all the children, but here is Judah having a stroll.



Angina (or extreme stress mimicking a heart attack)

Angina (or extreme stress mimicking a heart attack)

Why is it that men always feel the need to put on a front? Even to the women they love? My lovely husband has been disguising the fact that he has been having severe chest pain for the last 3 weeks. We have had issues with his chest before but he was told it was just severe acid (which I likened to pregnant heartburn) and was given some tablets to combat the acid reflux when it started.

Each time he would clutch at his chest I would ask him, ‘is it your acid thing again? Have you taken one of your acid tablets?’ He would just nod and smile, so I thought nothing more of it.

At the weekend he tells me that the pain’s got worse and he should get checked at the docs. (This is a very rare occurrence, I usually have to beg). So after failing to call in time to get an appointment Monday or Tuesday, (again I hadn’t sensed the urgency as he downplays everything A LOT) I set my alarm Wednesday morning to call the doctor.

First appointment of the day 9 o’clock, I offer to drive him down there (literally 5 mins walk) as it was raining and I was intending to head off to my tots play group afterwards. He comes out of the appointment carrying one of those blood test bags, and I knew we would need to go queue at some health centre somewhere to get his blood taken.

I ask him in the car, what did they say? ‘It’s either Angina or extreme stress mimicking a heart attack’, *confused* ‘How did they get to that conclusion? Last time they told you it was acid’, ‘no, I knew it was bad as I’ve been having shooting pains up and down my arm when it happens too, I just didn’t tell you as I didn’t want you to worry!’

Grr…. does anyone else get really angry by their other half doing things like this? Not to worry? Doesn’t he realise that the fact he’s been having these bad pains for 3 weeks knowing it was bad and doing nothing about it, makes me worry so much more? How can I trust him to look after himself? What if he’d been left with the baby and had a heart attack? and the questions keep coming….

Off we zoom to get his bloods checked, they were checking for pneumonia just incase, and they booked him in for an ECG next Friday.

As a couple we do LOADS, we obviously have a family of 3.8 children, (Eden’s due date is only 7 weeks away now) and we are heavily involved in our church and all the social actions ran through our church charity. Also, as my husband heads up the welcome team we have at least 2 couples/families over a week for dinner so that we can get to know them better and help cultivate a family atmosphere amongst our church.

Since I have been so immobile this pregnancy James cooks every time a guest comes. As I can’t lift Judah out of his cot (without extreme pain) he has done ALL the nighttime feeds since I stopped b/feeding at 10 months due to my hyperemesis being so bad I couldn’t hold the baby. Judah is now 15 months old yesterday. When I am exhausted he lets me go to sleep and he looks after the baby (I know I am spoilt but honestly, if this pregnancy had not mainly been in his summer student ridiculously long holidays, I don’t think I would’ve coped). He has been doing all the washing as thanks to my torn tummy muscles I cannot lift at all, and barely bend forward an inch without agony. I recently discovered I can wash up if I sit next to the sink, so have reclaimed this task (he never does it properly anyway) but other than that (oh and the incessant polishing/dusting I insist on doing) he does mostly everything.

I have had to scale back his duties MASSIVELY as if it is stress I don’t want his body mimicking a heart attack, if it’s Angina, I don’t want him having a heart attack, but there are still some things I just CANNOT do.

I let my Mum take Judah after we had the news when she finished work Wednesday afternoon so I could go to the bus project we run (short of volunteers without my hubby so I needed to go) and then my band practice (I sing and play in the church band). He was able to be at home and just rest without having to worry about the baby. Then yesterday I took the children to a friends once their mum had dropped them off so he could rest some more before we had our church family group in our home. The girls then ran off the last of their steam in the soft play at macdonald’s which is where I fed them all.

I don’t know what I would do without our car as I wouldn’t be able to take them anywhere but this way I can give him a break and take more of the heavy lifting.

Eagerly awaiting the results (just so we know what we’re dealing with) after the ECG next Friday and then can work out the best route to go from there. For now, taking the children and entertaining them, banning him from all our social action projects (even though he loves them) til we know what’s what, and cancelling all our dinner guests at least til next Friday seems to be my only option.

Anyone got any tips for getting on with housework after a caesarean? (this seems to be all I can liken my tearing tummy muscles to) so I can do more around the house. The laundry is a huge issue (although my mum had requested I bag it up this weekend for her to take).







The Ordinary Moments #2

The Ordinary Moments #2

It was such a manic week for us last week with Shayla’s 4th birthday party and the in-laws staying. I am involved in so much social-action my mum is always telling me off (not because she’s against bettering our community, because I’m heavily pregnant). We are so busy all the time, and to be honest it means when I am still, and at home I’m pretty shattered and need to rest which isn’t ideal for Judah. As I’ve said before though, there wasn’t much I could do with him as I can’t get down to his level. Taking him places and letting him interact why other people and be sociable that way seems to have been the best I could do for him anyway. Well, now we have a car and I can take him places that is all about him so I’m looking forward to that.

This photo was taken on the morning of Shayla’s birthday. We were all just getting ready before the girls headed off to dance with the in-laws and I had to clean the house ready for her party. I took all the children downstairs to give them breakfast whilst the rest of the house was still dormant and decided to let Judah feed himself his cereal. It was the sweetest thing. He just felt like one of us, he had his bowl full of milk and Cheerios (I know… bad mum alert as they have sugar, he’s so thin though I figure what’s the harm? So long as I brush his teeth and it’s not too regular….. *excuses).

Well, there was no splashing the milk, tipping over his bowl, he just say there in his high chair and ate them all. At 14 months I have to say, I was so proud of him. May be pathetic to others out there but to me these ordinary moments are what life is all about. My little boy is growing up and there are still so many things I will get to watch for the first time. I love him so much.

Here’s Judah eating his Cheerios




Some things that I love #6

Some things that I love #6

This last week has been crazy with planning for Shayla’s 4th birthday party. Getting a new car, the in-laws staying so I seemed to get a bit behind with the blogging but will give butwhymummywhy ‘s ‘Some things that I love’ linky a go.

Some thing I read

My hubby bought me loads of books as I’ve been so bed bound with this pregnancy, but I am pleased to say I have been too busy for one to have been reading them. All my downtime at the moment has been spent knitting a blanket for Eden. I’m starting to crave reading magazines again though… I’m usually a fan of ‘Elle’, ‘Glamour’ and ‘Zest’ but when you’re piling on weight through pregnancy and lack of mobility it’s not so fun to read about clothes you can’t wear or running tips and diets you can’t try. I have just subscribed back to Elle again though and am eagerly awaiting my first issue arrival next week.

Some thing I watched

Ok, so I’ve seen it before but the hubby and my friend Pete leant us a few dvd’s, again due to lack of mobility we have completed exhausted our collection. Last week hubby needed to nip to town (pre car arrival) on the bus which allowed me time to watch ‘Juno’. I love Ellen Paige and I think this is so wonderfully written, the way they converse alone makes me laugh, but the whole storyline of a young girl pregnant and ‘ill-equipped’ to deal with a baby (her words) giving it up for adoption so another family can be happy, just really moves me. The scene where she tries to abort and she sees a Chinese school friend ‘all babies want to get borned’ and she just can’t go through with it once she knows her baby will have fingernails at this stage. It’s just so sweet.

I know it’s old skool but if you haven’t seen it yet, I highly recommend it.

Some thing I wore

Somehow I have managed not to buy ANY maternity wear yet. I do not know how, I had borrowed some with Judah and then returned them, and this time I am twice the size, but still manage to get in my stretchy black leggings and just wearing my baggy tops or comfy maxi-dresses. I guess the favourite has been my black mini bailey button Uggs that have lived on my feet since the weather shifted. They are so comfortable, although I have to get one of the children or James to hold the back whilst I push my feet in as they’re not as easy to get on in this late stage of pregnancy as I thought. (Or as I told the hubby they would be as a reason I needed to buy them earlier on in the year… Oops!)

Some thing I listened to

Now we have a car (woop woop) it has resulted in James and I have many debates over what to listen to in the car. I believe I should be able to choose as I’m driving and he has the right to veto whether I like it or not. Too much hassle to argue I have discovered. So we’ve been trying to listen to albums unfamiliar to both of us as a kind of compromise.

Recently, the OneRepublic album ‘Native’ has been getting a lot of airplay. It makes Judah dance happily in the back of the car (in his little car seat of course) and I love Ryan Tedder’s voice. The lyrics are not always the best but are thought provoking, the hubster and I are always discussing lazy lyrics or lyrics that are random and make no sense. As we are both keen song writers and him an enthusiastic lyricist we spend a lot of time discussing lyrics (whether I want to or not). Random one from OneRepublic ‘everything that drowns me makes me wanna fly’. Not as obscure as some, I get the metaphor, just think it’s very randomly placed in the song.

Some thing I cannot live without

Well, it’s only been a few days but or new little car ‘Goldie’ has fast made the cut. It is so good to be able to get about without needing my crutches or James to support me all the time. It’s also nice to be able to feel useful to my family again. Went to visit my Mum in Lytham yesterday and took Judah to the lake and on the park. Was so lovely to be able to watch him playing. Something I have not been able to do for a while due to my inability to get anywhere.





Pregnancy and Diverticulitis

Pregnancy and Diverticulitis

So I’m now 31 weeks pregnant and for about 4 days I’ve been experiencing pain in my lower left abdomen. I was diagnosed with diverticular disease about 5 years ago when I was passing blood and being examined for bowel cancer. (My auntie had bowel cancer and died at 28 so guess they thought it was more likely). The process of diagnosing was hideous, like it’s not bad enough thinking you may have cancer, well, it wasn’t it was diverticular disease. This is when there are pockets on your colon. Most commonly found in extremely elderly gentlemen. For me I believe it was brought on early by stress, I was in a very volatile marriage at the time and suffering at the hands of my husband with emotional and physical abuse.

Diverticulitis is when things get trapped in those pockets (like seeds) and it becomes inflamed. I was told to avoid seeds etc and have never had a flare up since. Until now, I am not sure what it is but the pain is so localised and so familiar. I cannot work out if Eden is
pressing somehow on these pockets or if something has aggravated it again. It has been 5 years. I am not passing blood, I’m not having any problems with bowel movements (well, anymore than normal, anything is normal when you’re pregnant, am I right?), I just have this severe localised pain.

I rang triage who said to come in. I knew that meant organising someone to watch Judah, and as I’m feeling Eden as normal, I’m pretty convinced this pain isn’t pregnancy related and they will only be doing their best to manage the pain on the maternity ward. I contacted my friend who is a GP and did a lot of his residency on a gynae and obstetrics ward. He suggested if I can cope with the pain til the morning to then go to my GP who will refer me through the proper channels. Otherwise, he foresaw a long night of me sitting around in A&E.

I was recommended to take paracetamol and a warm bath. We don’t have a bath so have been led with a hot water bottle on my lower left side. My friend Pete is on standby if the pain gets unbearable to come and watch Judah whilst James and I go to the hospital. I am trying to just get to the morning.

I was informed by my friend the GP they won’t do the internal scan (colonoscopy) when I am pregnant so would be unable to diagnose as diverticulitis anyway. The antibiotics they would give would be an interesting one as they don’t give out what I would usually need to pregnant women.

I am hoping it is a simple water infection that I am just being a baby about (although my hubby likes to point out that I have a very high pain threshold and he is concerned for me masking my symptoms).

Anyways, at the moment it isn’t really anything, I am just awake and therefore blogging.

The only upside of the horrendous ordeal diagnosing something like this was 5 years ago, was that when I was first pregnant and miscarried, nothing seemed invasive by comparison. I had no quarms about anything they needed to do throughout my subsequent pregnancies, miscarriages and during labour.

Quietly praying to myself that this goes away, doesn’t get worse and doesn’t affect having an early labour (I know I’m being dramatic but the musings of a hormonal woman in pain are hardly ever rational).



{The Ordinary Moments} #1

The Ordinary Moments #1

So I have noticed this Linky from mummydaddyandme and I thought I would link up this week and hopefully in the future if I remember (wink, wink).

The girls have started back at dance for the autumn/winter term which now means that every Saturday morning you will find us taking up room in Costa Coffee whilst shuttling them back and forth to classes.

They each do 3 disciplines (2 and a quarter hours each) with a 45 minute gap in between for Shay. Ice starts 45 mins after and just goes straight through, so all in all it’s 3 hours out of our Saturday’s every week.

The girls love drinking their babychinno’s and at the moment Judah is still content to drink milk from his bottle and water from his Tommee Tippee explora cup so we don’t have to purchase him anything yet.

I caught this picture whilst James had taken Shayla into ballet and Isis was chatting away to Judah. She is so good at entertaining him and he loves her so much. I think she’s his hero, he constantly calls for her when they go to bed at night before him ‘Isis, Icey, Isis’. It’s adorable. Here’s just a little reason why he adores her so.


Some things that I love #5

Some things that I love #5

Ok, so it’s been a very long time but I have decided to link up with ‘butwhymummywhy’ for Some things that I love again this week. some things that I love

Some thing I read

I struggle with this one every time as I am not a big reader. I was however horrified by the news I read about the 8 year old Yemeni child bride that died after consummating marriage on her wedding night. Isis is going to be 8 in March and I literally just couldn’t get my head around it.

Hmm…. doesn’t really fit the remit though does it as this is definitely not ‘some thing that I love’. I read my driving test pass certificate. That was exciting for me. Passing at the age of 30 and 30 weeks pregnant was a bug deal for me. It is done now though, w00t!

Some thing I watched

I may have said this before but the hubby and I don’t have a TV license, and we don’t have the Internet, except on our phones, so we are never up to date with what everyone else is watching. We buy box sets. This past week after severely exhausting our DVD collection we’ve reverted back to watching SATC. He says he’s not into it, but every now and again there’s a chuckle. Last night we were watching Season 6 when Charlotte gets married to Harry.

Some thing I wore

Haha, this pregnancy I haven’t bought one item of maternity wear (yet) and when I hit the gym after Judah was born I gave away everything that was maternity wear for me last time (back to my cousin who had leant them to me). Don’t know how I’ve managed really, cos I am nearly twice the size of the last pregnancy but I just can’t bear to part with money for something temporary. My black leggings may not be able to cope the last 2 months though so we will see.

Now the weather has changed, the girls, Judah and I have all been living in our Uggs. I’ve always enjoyed the comfort, but now we all own some except for Daddy (as the girls keep pointing out), the girls love that we all match. I have to alternate which pair I wear so as to match them both on different days. Shayla’s are short black classics and Isis’ are chestnut tall classics, Judah had chestnut baby boo ones, so cute under his snowsuit.

Some thing I listened to

I am the middle of doing some recording with our church band and have therefore had to spend a lot of time listening to pieces, devising and practicing piano parts. Piano was recorded at the studios at ‘The Grand’ Clitheroe a couple of weeks ago, but this week we are laying down vocals. I’m only singing 2 of the songs but I am practicing constantly so these are what I’m listening to. Stay tuned, once it’s all been mixed and mastered may post a link on here. Will probably be around Christmas time though so not for a while yet.

Some thing I cannot live without

I feel I have said my hubby on this many times before, but it is true. The extent of my uselessness has been far reaching this pregnancy and I do not know what I would’ve done had it not fallen mainly in the Summer between year 2 and 3 of his degree course. He goes back October 7th, but as I blogged earlier we will then have a car which will make a massive difference to my life car and I won’t be as reliant on him.

Once again thank you to ‘butwhymummywhy’ for this fun link up.