Angina (or extreme stress mimicking a heart attack)
Why is it that men always feel the need to put on a front? Even to the women they love? My lovely husband has been disguising the fact that he has been having severe chest pain for the last 3 weeks. We have had issues with his chest before but he was told it was just severe acid (which I likened to pregnant heartburn) and was given some tablets to combat the acid reflux when it started.
Each time he would clutch at his chest I would ask him, ‘is it your acid thing again? Have you taken one of your acid tablets?’ He would just nod and smile, so I thought nothing more of it.
At the weekend he tells me that the pain’s got worse and he should get checked at the docs. (This is a very rare occurrence, I usually have to beg). So after failing to call in time to get an appointment Monday or Tuesday, (again I hadn’t sensed the urgency as he downplays everything A LOT) I set my alarm Wednesday morning to call the doctor.
First appointment of the day 9 o’clock, I offer to drive him down there (literally 5 mins walk) as it was raining and I was intending to head off to my tots play group afterwards. He comes out of the appointment carrying one of those blood test bags, and I knew we would need to go queue at some health centre somewhere to get his blood taken.
I ask him in the car, what did they say? ‘It’s either Angina or extreme stress mimicking a heart attack’, *confused* ‘How did they get to that conclusion? Last time they told you it was acid’, ‘no, I knew it was bad as I’ve been having shooting pains up and down my arm when it happens too, I just didn’t tell you as I didn’t want you to worry!’
Grr…. does anyone else get really angry by their other half doing things like this? Not to worry? Doesn’t he realise that the fact he’s been having these bad pains for 3 weeks knowing it was bad and doing nothing about it, makes me worry so much more? How can I trust him to look after himself? What if he’d been left with the baby and had a heart attack? and the questions keep coming….
Off we zoom to get his bloods checked, they were checking for pneumonia just incase, and they booked him in for an ECG next Friday.
As a couple we do LOADS, we obviously have a family of 3.8 children, (Eden’s due date is only 7 weeks away now) and we are heavily involved in our church and all the social actions ran through our church charity. Also, as my husband heads up the welcome team we have at least 2 couples/families over a week for dinner so that we can get to know them better and help cultivate a family atmosphere amongst our church.
Since I have been so immobile this pregnancy James cooks every time a guest comes. As I can’t lift Judah out of his cot (without extreme pain) he has done ALL the nighttime feeds since I stopped b/feeding at 10 months due to my hyperemesis being so bad I couldn’t hold the baby. Judah is now 15 months old yesterday. When I am exhausted he lets me go to sleep and he looks after the baby (I know I am spoilt but honestly, if this pregnancy had not mainly been in his summer student ridiculously long holidays, I don’t think I would’ve coped). He has been doing all the washing as thanks to my torn tummy muscles I cannot lift at all, and barely bend forward an inch without agony. I recently discovered I can wash up if I sit next to the sink, so have reclaimed this task (he never does it properly anyway) but other than that (oh and the incessant polishing/dusting I insist on doing) he does mostly everything.
I have had to scale back his duties MASSIVELY as if it is stress I don’t want his body mimicking a heart attack, if it’s Angina, I don’t want him having a heart attack, but there are still some things I just CANNOT do.
I let my Mum take Judah after we had the news when she finished work Wednesday afternoon so I could go to the bus project we run (short of volunteers without my hubby so I needed to go) and then my band practice (I sing and play in the church band). He was able to be at home and just rest without having to worry about the baby. Then yesterday I took the children to a friends once their mum had dropped them off so he could rest some more before we had our church family group in our home. The girls then ran off the last of their steam in the soft play at macdonald’s which is where I fed them all.
I don’t know what I would do without our car as I wouldn’t be able to take them anywhere but this way I can give him a break and take more of the heavy lifting.
Eagerly awaiting the results (just so we know what we’re dealing with) after the ECG next Friday and then can work out the best route to go from there. For now, taking the children and entertaining them, banning him from all our social action projects (even though he loves them) til we know what’s what, and cancelling all our dinner guests at least til next Friday seems to be my only option.
Anyone got any tips for getting on with housework after a caesarean? (this seems to be all I can liken my tearing tummy muscles to) so I can do more around the house. The laundry is a huge issue (although my mum had requested I bag it up this weekend for her to take).